What if I was fat in high school?

There's a few things wrong with this magazine cover:
1) Get high-school skinny! I was fat in high school

2) Lose an inch in a day. I think that's called "chemo-therapy" or "dead."

3) Melt off 14lbs a week! Okay, for sure they're talking about the Holocaust here.

How about this: you stop being lazy and you start exercising? And, what the hell, throw some vegetables into the mix.

You're welcome, America.